Divorce and Remarry? (What is the whole point of 1 Cor 7?)

A) THE ROOT OF THE ISSUE: TOLERANCE FOR SIN CAUSED BY ARROGANCE IN WORLDLY WISDOM

There is a problem within the Corinthian community that some had taken Paul's words in his previous letter into another extreme; they forbid sex within marriage. Some Corinthians sought to abstain from sex even within marriage as they thought that their spiritual status as Christians are affected by that. That is the main motivation behind 1 Cor 7 as they wrote to Paul regarding Sexual abstinence:

"Now concerning the matters about WHICH YOU WROTE: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”" - 1 Cor 7:1

Paul had previously warned about sexual immorality (i.e, 6:9), which resulted in a response from the Corinthians to him in a previous letter. Some of the Corinthians with over realized eschatology, thought that they were already in their glorified bodies (4:8), and hence they abstained from Sex even within Marriage (7:1). Paul spent Chapters 1 to 4 to explain to the Corinthians how they were arrogant (4:6-7) with worldly wisdom (3:18-23), and their false spirituality had caused them to condone Sin in their community (5:6-8, 6:8). That is why Paul had to explain in 7:4-5, asking them "Do not deprive one another", because that has resulted in sexual immorality among them (7:2).

B) DIVORCE WITHOUT VALID GROUNDS: DUE TO ABSTINENCE FROM SEX

Therefore Paul's charge towards the Corinthians, is that they are not allowed to divorce based on the wrong believe that "Christians should abstain from Sex, even within marriage". This might have caused some husbands to initiate a divorce due to their wives refusing to have sex with them. That is why Paul went on to say that our bodies belong to each other (7:4), we are not to deprive each other of sex (7:5), a believer couple are to remain married (7:10). And if a wife leaves her husband for invalid grounds as above, she is to remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband (7:11)

"To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife." - 1 Cor 7:10-11

Paul's preferred model is for Christian marriage (Eph 5:22-33), which agrees with Peter (1 Pet 3:1-7) is for the couple to stay together and not divorce each other; Christians are to strive for reconciliation, forgiveness and love, to stay together in marriage by all reasonable means just as Christ loves the Church regardless of her imperfections. So the spouse who had wrongfully walked away from the marriage without valid grounds must "remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband".

C) DIVORCE WITHOUT VALID GROUNDS: DUE TO  FEAR OF DEFILEMENT FROM UNBELIEVING SPOUSE

Paul as he says in 7:12, that "To the rest I say (I, not the Lord).... ". In these verses, Paul is saying that a believer should stay with an unbelieving spouse, and not leave him. This is due to a misunderstanding that they are forbidden to "yoke with unbelievers" (2 Cor 6:14), so when a pagan turned to a believer, some of them sought to divorce for fear of being defiled by their non-believing spouse. But Paul states the opposite, in that the believing spouse should stick to their marriage so that there is a chance that the unbelieving spouse and children can be saved (7:14).

Christians are to remain in their current status during the time they were called and not seek for a change (7:20). But if an unbelieving spouse initiates a divorce, the believing spouse is not obligated to stop it, and is released from that marriage.

"But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you[b] to peace. "- 1 Cor 7:15

D) PAUL'S MAIN POINT: DO NOT SEEK A CHANGE IN EARTHLY STATUS

But Paul's main point for this entire section is actually found in 1 Cor 7:17-23. By using Marriage as an example, he further illustrates his main point using Circumcision (v19) and Slavery (v22). His main point is this, let each man seek NOT to change their social status at the time they were called.

"Only let each person lead the life[c] that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches." - 1 Cor 7:17

This is consistent with his view in Col 3:2, "Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth". Since Slaves are considered freeman in Christ, and freemen are considered Slaves to Christ (Rom 6:17), Paul is saying regardless whether one is married or single (7:1-14), circumcised or uncircumcised (7:15-19), Slave or Free (7:20-24), all are the same in Christ, and one's social status does not affect one's spiritual status.

Therefore this is the whole point of the entire section: "Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called " - 1 Cor 7:20

E) APPLICATION: COMMAND VS CONCESSION

Hence to appropriate this to Christian Marriage, Paul commands Christians to stay together and not to seek alternatives and use Divorce and Remarriage as an excuse to legalize their unsatisfied lusts. However, no where in these passages does Paul addresses specific circumstances whereby abandonment, abuse and adultery are involved (Matt 5:32, 19:9). Many Christians had unnecessarily applied a blanket rule that forces believers to continue in hurtful abusive relationships and remain single when the bible states no such command.

Therefore the Sin relating to Divorce and Remarry, is not in the act by itself, but stems from an unwholesome motivation behind such decisions. At the end of the day, it is God who knows our every thoughts and motives (Psalms 139:1-4). This is not a command for all Christians to have to remain status quo, but for each believer not to actively set their mind to seek for a change in their social status in the world, but to stay faithful to their calling in Christ (7:17), wherever God has placed them (7:18).

But in circumstances whereby one does not have a gift of celibacy, or there is abuse and abandonment involved, there is concession. But the believer spouse must have exhausted all means to salvage the relationship, because God had never meant for the Christian marriage to come apart (Matt 19:3-8), but for believers to stand firm to the end (Eph 5:25).

Knowledge is not everything

The Christian faith is not just based on knowledge, but life on life. Faith that is dependent on nothing but information defeats the whole purpose of that faith one is studying.

Therefore I urge you, imitate me. For this reason I have sent Timothy to you, who is my beloved and faithful son in the Lord, who will remind you of my ways in Christ, as I teach everywhere in every church. - 1 Cor 4:16-17

What it means to be "Puffed Up"

Being "Puffed Up" is not about reading too much of the bible. It is more on reliance on one's pride in one's one knowledge (which could be knowledge of the word or worldly wisdom) and not seeking true council from the word of God. And how can one understand the word of God without making conscious effort to study it?

Now, brothers and sisters, I have applied these things to myself and Apollos for your benefit, so that you may learn from us the meaning of the saying, “DO NOT GO BEYOND WHAT IS WRITTEN.” Then you will not be PUFFED UP in being a follower of one of us over against the other.
1 Corinthians 4:6 NIV

It's not OK to produce "Wood Hay and Stubble"

If anyone’s work is burned, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire. - 1 Cor 3:15

The sense of the Greek in here is not to say that it is "OK" not to be based one's work's on the firm foundation of Christ and produce "Wood, Hay and Stubble". But to one who built the foundation of one's faith upon worldly wisdom is threading at risk of going to Hell, equivalent to the English term, " to be saved at the skin of his teeth".

He continues to warn that if they persists on with their dependence on worldly wisdom, especially those who instigated others to do so, (Context from Chap 1 and 2), they will be at risk of losing their Salvation.

Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? If anyone defiles the temple of God, God will destroy him. For the temple of God is holy, which temple you are. - 1 Cor 3:16-17

Determination vs Hardship

Determination for success and self improvement is not the same as endurance for hardship.

Determination is a form of self will to achieve a higher social standing like striving to enhance one's physical attributes or academic accolades. It is a form of striving in anticipation of a better life.

Endurance for hardship, on the contrary, enables one to come to terms with his or her circumstances and move on with Grace, and in the Christian perspective, knowing that "God is good, be it for the better or worse".

Determination for success does not develop endurance for hardship. In fact, constant striving for material well being undermines the appreciation of the humility one can learn from difficult times.

As Paul says,

Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world,
Philippians 2:14‭-‬15 NASB

And we can only do this by holding eternal values, and not fleshly earthly ones. If we always view life with an expectation of a pot of gold over the rainbow we have created, our motives will no longer be gospel centric, but of the idol that we created for ourselves.

Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.
Colossians 3:2 NASB

Is there a difference between Internal vs External sins?

Passages like Eph 2:8-9, tell us that our Salvation in Jesus Christ has nothing to do with our merits and abilities to abstain from Sin. In fact Rom 8:3 tells us that the Law was powerless to save us from our sins, but could only reveal to us our hopelessly sinful state (Rom 7:7-8). Yet it is also clear in 1 John 3:4, that a believer does not make a practice of Sin. Throughout the Old and New Testament, the bible frequently warns us against Sin.

So what is the deal here? Are Christians allowed to Sin? Since we know that when Christians sin, we have an advocate that is in Jesus Christ (1 John 2:1). So shall we Sin so that Grace may abound (Rom 6:1). How much Sin is considered acceptable, and how much is not? Let's explore:

Jesus preached in the Sermon on the Mount (Matt 5-7), that if one hates a brother, he has committed murder in his heart (Matt 5:21-26). And if one lusts over a woman in his heart, he has already committed adultery in his mind (Matt 5:27-30). Which means that, all of us are guilty of  Internal Sins that are committed in our hearts and mind, as well External Sins committed by us a acting upon our natural fleshly tenancies. There is none righteous (Rom 3:9-20), and one of the purpose of the Law, is to show us that no man can be justified by his ability to obey (v19-20).

So knowing that Grace is a concept as a gift by Faith and not works (Rom 4:4-5), we know that Salvation is never something that can be earned neither by our good works nor abstinence from Sin, simply because, we cannot do it. But does it mean that since there is nothing we can do for our justification (Rom 5:1-2), and Salvation is a free gift from God through Jesus Christ (Rom 5:17), are Christians are free to Sin since we are to do nothing about our Salvation?

1 John 2:4-6 gives as a very good idea of what a believer is supposed to do, "And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments". And this is the key to what we have explored so far:

WE CANNOT BE SAVED BY KEEPING THE LAW, BUT UNDER GRACE, TRUE BELIEVERS WILL DESIRE TO KEEP THE LAW.

Which means, that if one is a true believer, it does not mean that he is saved by his ability to keep the Law. But rather he will keep the Law because he is under Grace (Rom 6:14), he is no longer slave to Sin, but to Righteousness (Rom 6:15-19). Then again, since believers don't work for their Salvation, and yet those who are saved will desire to do the works, then how much work or how much Sin can one commit before we can say one is truly saved or not? So based on our understanding of Grace vs Works as above, let's continue to explore the title post of the difference between Internal vs External sins...

INTERNAL SINS, which is our inclination or tendency towards Sin is sufficient to condemn us to Hell (Matt 5:21-30). It means that no one is righteous enough to earn his way to Salvation for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. As written above, we know we have been forgiven by the blood of Jesus Christ as there is no way anyone on the face of this earth, but yet no one can avoid having an evil thought throughout their lifetime. But we also saw that in Romans 6, those who are saved are Slaves to Righteousness and not to Sin, and so the truly saved should have a diminishing and not growing tendency towards Sin.

In Romans 7:13-20, Paul gives an account of a believer's struggle with Sin. We are constantly torn between what we ought to do in the Spirit and what we desire to destroy with our Flesh. It is clear in v24, that this hypothetical example of a man who yearns to please God finds that there is no way he can do it. And in v25, he thank God that he can do it through Jesus Christ so that "I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.". A Christian will always struggle with Sin till the day he dies.

EXTERNAL SINS, are what we actually do when we act upon our fleshly desires. So one can lust for a woman in his heart, but it is only when he actually makes his advances towards the woman and commits adultery with her that he has acted upon his desires. For example:

- Someone having a Same Sex Attraction towards a person (internal), but chooses not to pursue it (external).

- A married person may fall into infatuation (internal) with another person but chooses not to act upon these desires (external).

- A salesperson stumbled upon an opportunity to cheat his client for a huge profit (internal) but chose to walk away from that deal (external)

- A colleague at work that one actually hates (internal) makes a mistake at the mercy of your knowledge, but you chose not to back stab nor gossip (external) about this person.

These examples shows us that anyone can have a desire to sin in our heart and minds. But we can also choose not to act upon it as it brings harm against another. Acting upon our Sins also causes other bystanders who witness the act, gets stumbled or even follow it (Matt 18:6). But what if one occasionally falls into temptation and acts upon his sinful inclinations? Is there Grace for such a person? Is there Grace for David who acted upon his lust for Bathsheba (which is external), killed Uriah and committed adultery with her?

The key thing to this question, is repentance. 1 John 1:9 gives us an idea of who are walking in the Light and who are walking in Darkness. Those who walk in darkness does not acknowledge their sins (1 John 1:8), whereas those who acknowledge their sinful nature walks in the Light (1 John 1:9). We can naturally say that those who does not acknowledge their Sins (walk in darkness) also does not understand their total deprivation, and hence does not seek to please God. They may have some form of righteousness, but they have no concept of pleasing God (Rom 8:7-8), but only seek to please their own conscience. Those who walk in the Light confesses their sins and Jesus is righteous to forgive them.

1 John 3:4-9, tells us that those who walk in the Light practices Righteousness, and those who walk in Darkness practices Sin. He does not say that those who walk in the Light are perfectly Righteous. Which means, a believer may Sin, and he is covered by the blood of Christ (1 John 2:1-2), but he does not actively pursue a life of Sin (Rom 8:5-6). So we can safely say:

WALK IN THE LIGHT = REPENT, PLEASE GOD, TRUE RIGHTEOUSNESS.
WALK IN DARKNESS = DOES NOT REPENT, DOES NOT PLEASE GOD , SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS.

So how much Sin can we continue to commit  before we are considered as actively practicing or willfully sinning (Hebrews 10:26-27)?

Well, one can always disguise his willful sinning by saying things like "I really cannot help it..."... "This temptation is too overwhelming". Pornography for example, although private, is a result of acting upon lust. It promotes promiscuity and infidelity which are against the principals of the bible. Pornography also supports an industry whereby women and sometimes Children are often abused in order to produce those materials. As Christians, we do not want to support such industries. Yet men often have tendencies to fall into sexual sins. Hence although we have Grace over the Sins that we inadvertently fall into, we can also disguise our rebellious sinning by giving excuses for it. Other Sins can also be Jealousy, Back Stabbing, Gossip, Reviling, Covetousness, Fraud, etc.

So even though one who is a professing believer, if he actively practices a Sin, to him that is a willful Sin, and it proves that he is actually an unbeliever (1 John 3:4-9, Rom 8:7-8). Which means this person disregards the Laws of God and does not care about whether one's actions are displeasing to Him; he is an unbeliever.

But if compared to one who is struggling with his sinful inclinations but yet loses the battle once in a while and fell into it, then Romans 7:25 applies and he is covered by Jesus blood. It is not possible for a sincere student who diligently studies for his exams to fail all the time. Hence a true believer who wants to live a Holy life will not end up losing the battle all the time.

A true believer also actively seeks to help those who are in need (Matt 25:38-40), for "everyone who loves the Father loves whoever has been born of him" (1 John 5:1). Hence if we Love God, and Love our Neighbors, we can fulfill the Law through the cleansing blood of Jesus Christ "For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself." (Gal 5:14)

The Love of the Father

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the LOVE OF THE FATHER is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who DOES THE WILL OF GOD abides forever.
I John 2:15‭-‬17 NKJV

BY THIS WE KNOW LOVE, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to LAY DOWN OUR LIVES for the brethren. But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, HOW DOES THE LOVE OF GOD abide in him?
I John 3:16‭-‬17 NKJV

Christians are characterized by their love for each other. And such love cannot be accomplished by sheer will power and determination. John gave a very clear view,

1. If we love anyone or anything more than the father, the Love of the Father is not in us (2:15).

2. He who does the will of the father abides forever (truly saved).

3. If anyone does not love their brethrens, the love of the father is not in them (3:17).

Many of times in our troubles, we tend to shift our object of happiness on fallible things like our love for material things or on a person. When that object or person fails, there is always a  danger that we seek comfort in another person, jump into the wrong relationships and fall into Sin. And John is also clear that true believers will not live in Sin (1 John 3:4-9).

The Love of the Father helps us to centralize him as the object of our Love. And with the right perception on the object of our faith, we are able to live Holy lives, and most importantly, to fulfill his will for us by Loving our brethrens.